Getting Your Feet Wet
by LucyGoose
Summary: Loss. Love. A summer apart. A summer that will change everything.
1. Prolouge: Spinning

** This story originated out of my frustration with both the 6th and 7th seasons. It mostly centers on Lorelai and Luke, but I am planning some Rory stuff too. It begins almost directly after the Season 5 finale. **

**I hope you like it!**

_"Flight 77 for Paris will begin seating shortly."  
_

Well. Here's something Lorelai never thought she'd be doing. Yup, this definitely goes right after getting pregnant at sixteen, asking Luke to marry her, and…ouch, giving in to the hairstyles of the eighties. But, really, _Paris? _ Is she kidding herself?

She looked at Luke, in the chair next to her, eyes unblinking, staring straight ahead. _Are you thinking about this too?, _ she wanted to ask him but was too afraid to break the silence that had enveloped them ever since they had entered the airport thirty minutes before.

_"Rows 25 through 20, please make your way up to the desk."  
_

Without thinking about it, Lorelai checked her ticket. Row 14. So she still had a few minutes to…what? To talk herself out of going through with this? All she knew was that she needed to do _something_.She had been sitting in the same chair for twenty minutes, and as she now admitted that she'd gone past the window of turning back, was about to get on a ten hour flight. She needed to _do _something and stop all this thinking. Her eyes searched around the room and settled on a vending machine.

"I'll be right back," she said to Luke who, still, just looked at her. She looked at him pointedly, waiting for some kind of recognition.

"Yeah, okay," He grumbled. As she walked away, she couldn't help but think that she might be the only person who could look through the gruff exterior of this man and see sadness.

Which led her to thinking, was she supposed to be sad right now? Should she be sobbing hysterically like they do in movies? After all, she was _leaving _ Luke, whom she had asked not 48 hours ago to marry her, for an indefinite amount of time. And she _was _ going to miss him. A lot. She just didn't want to allow herself to think about that part yet.

_ "Rows 19-15 will begin seating now."  
_

Lorelai realized she was still standing at the vending machine and quickly got an extremely overpriced bottle of water. As she made her way back to Luke she saw that he was standing up now and rummaging through her carry-on. When she looked at him, she saw the cold, stony expression he'd had earlier was now replaced with something she couldn't quite name.

"You have your phone, right?" His voice was somewhat frantic.

She stared at him, bewildered. "Yeah, of course. Why-,"

He looked embarrassed as he handed her the bag. "I just needed to make sure,"

In one swift moment, her eyes filled with tears as she realized the weight of what she was doing. "Oh, hon."

His arms enveloped her. "Call me when you get there," he said into her ear. "Promise,"

"I will," her voice shook. "It's gonna- it'll be fine,"

"And it's the right thing," he said, as more of a question than a statement.

"I-," she began, helplessly shrugging her shoulders.

_"Now seating rows 14-10."  
_

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and gave her a sad smile. "You have to go,"

She kissed him then; it was all she could think to do. "Love you," she whispered as she pressed her cheek against his.

He nodded. "Back atcha,"

She knew if she didn't pull away now, she might never be able to. "Bye," she said, pursing her lips to stop them from quivering.

As she walked to the desk, she couldn't bring herself to look back but she knew he was still watching her. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, and tried to smile as she handed her passport and ticket to the woman.

It was only when the plane left the ground that she allowed the tears to run freely down her face.

** I realized as I wrote this that in reality, you aren't allowed to go back to that section of the airport if you're not actually going on the plane. But let's just pretend.  
**


	2. Taking the Plunge

**Chapter One: Taking the Plunge**

**  
**

There were very few moments where Lorelai had truly felt that time had stood still. The night Rory was born, for instance-- not only because of the pain and the love and the joy, but because that was the very moment she realized she was not a kid anymore. And then the opening night at the Dragonfly, when she had more than acquiesced to Luke's request to stand still. Both were times in which her whole life had turned around.

And then, there was now.

She wasn't sure how much time had actually passed since she asked Luke to marry her-- minutes, hours, maybe. It didn't really matter. In fact, she wasn't quite sure why the question had suddenly popped into her head or what it really meant. All she knew was that she was sick of waiting. She couldn't do this by herself anymore, and she was ready to accept that. She needed him. Maybe she was risking it all by doing this, but she just couldn't hold back any longer. She was taking the plunge.

"Lorelai, wait, just hang on a second," he said, something in his tone making her feel like a child, as if she had done something wrong. She was instantly brought back to a Christmas when she was about six. Their maid at the time had a son about Lorelai's age, and he had made her a coloring book for her present; he had drawn all sorts of outlines of pictures with very skinny bordering lines- Lorelai was always complaining about having to work so hard to stay inside the lines, it was her coloring book after all, and if she wanted to go out of the lines, she should be able to. She had held the beautiful homemade present in her hands for about five seconds before her mother had snatched it away. _"He's poor,"_ Emily had said to her later. _"You cannot accept a gift from someone like that. His family is so far beneath us, Lorelai."_ And though Lorelai had so badly wanted to tell her mother that not accepting the gift that this little boy had worked so hard on seemed worse than actually accepting it, she knew that she was only six, that she had to listen to her mother, and that Emily was probably right anyway.

But back to the situation in front of her. "Oh, okay," she said, dejectedly, still avoiding Luke's eyes. While her conscience was saying _Come on Lorelai, don't give up now! Fight for him!_ the reality was that she was just so tired. If he wasn't feeling this like she was, then she couldn't make him. If she learned anything from the Rory episode, it was that. _Don't push people. Don't interfere._

"What?" Luke asked, concerned by both the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes. He still wasn't quite sure where Lorelai was coming from. He wanted to believe that she truly wanted to marry him, but this could just as well be her clinging to who she believed was the last person she had left.

_I'm fine,_ She wanted to say, but she couldn't make herself say the words because she knew deep down she wasn't, hadn't been for a long time actually. "It's okay, Luke," she said instead. "I get it. You don't want to marry me."

"Hey, I never said-," he tried to cut in gently, clearly too gently, because Lorelai had already moved on to the next thing.

"It's great, Luke, it's terrific, actually," she smiled tightly, hugging herself. "But I mean, I guess I don't know what the heck we're doing here. Maybe you could give me a clue, because obviously, I just don't get it." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, a thing she would usually apologize for, at least with him, but she just couldn't make herself care. She didn't want to apologize anymore.

"We're really doing this now?" he said, stalling, trying to come up with something that would make her see that that wasn't what he had meant at all. Words were hard for him, Lorelai knew that. At least he thought she knew that.

"Doing what, Luke?" she said wearily. She knew that she had probably gone too far, and would have gone and pressed the rewind button and erased that last statement if she could. Here she was again, pushing people to do something they didn't want to do, to be someone they had never even wanted to be in the first place.

"You know I'm not good with words, Lorelai, with looking into the future. You know that I never could believe that we even got this far. I'm happy with where we are, okay? I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize what we have."

"Why would marriage be so terrible?" She hated herself for asking this, for pushing him into this, but she couldn't help it. She felt she needed to know.

He sighed, almost in exasperation. "Just let me get this out, okay?"

She waited. He was thinking. "What?" she asked quietly, after a long moment.

"I just think…," he began. "You're sad tonight," he said simply. She nodded. There was no way she could argue that statement. He continued. "Sadder than I think I've ever seen you. And I think that maybe…maybe you just want to do this for yourself. You're sad, and you just need to _do _something. You're not thinking about us at all. Not really. Do you think maybe that's what's going on?"

The words themselves were enough to make Lorelai angry, but the tone Luke used was gentle, soothing. She couldn't be mad at him. "I…I don't know," she stuttered, and suddenly she didn't trust her legs to hold her up anymore. She was so confused, and felt so alone. And she was freezing. She really needed to sit down. And so she did, right there on the linoleum floor in the diner. Luke sat next to her and pulled her on his lap. He stroked her back and held her as she sat there, staring straight ahead and looking at the design of the stool legs. She wondered if anyone had ever sat on this floor before.

She also wondered how many times it had actually been cleaned in the past nine years that she'd known Luke.

Nine years. Wow. And to think they'd wasted so much time already. It hurt to think of all that time they spent being mad at each other, or, in the very beginning, the time they spent just being acquaintances, when she could be doing this, sitting on the hard, dirty floor with the man she loved. Even though she was sprawled in an awkward position and her back really hurt, she never wanted to move from this position.

But soon, Taylor's voice rang out on the streets, telling the "hoodlums" of Stars Hollow that it was getting dark and they should be home. Lorelai sat up and tried to regain her composure. "I should be going," she said, her voice little more than a whisper.

"Stay," his voice was almost pleading. He didn't want her to be alone, not tonight, not with Rory so recently gone and everything they had to figure out still weighing on both their minds.

"No," she said firmly. "I have to do this, Luke. I think I just need to prove to myself that I still can."

"What are you talking about?" he inquired.

She didn't answer. "We'll talk more tomorrow, okay?" she asked, waiting for him to nod. When he did, she kissed him quickly. Then she left, the night quickly cooling as the sun faded.

_Just like her strength_, he thought sadly.

------

Lorelai walked into the Dragonfly Inn the next morning, purposely keeping her eyes averted so as not to encounter any residents of Stars Hollow. She had just been leaving Luke's, emotionally draining enough in itself, when she ran into both Babbette and Miss Patty, a double whammy. They, of course, had learned of Rory's leaving Yale and moving in with Lorelai's parents. Lorelai believed their exact words were "heard it through the grapevine", but she wasn't sure. That could have just been her shower radio this morning.

Anyway, long story short, she really didn't feel like explaining to anyone, least of all Sookie, the whole Rory thing. She wasn't sure she even believed the story anymore, that it was "just temporary", that she and Rory were "fine", and that Rory was "coming back to Stars Hollow…eventually".

Yup, she's never been much of a liar. Suprising, actually, considering where she grew up.

_Be nice_, a voice said in her head and she instantly thought of Rory, always telling her not to be too hard on Richard and Emily. God, she missed that kid already. Funny, really, considering how long the real Rory had actually been gone.

She snapped back to reality to see Sookie doing some sort of windmill motion in front of her, frantically trying to get her attention. "Hello. Lorelai," she was saying.

"Sorry, Sook. Just a little spacey today." Lorelai forced herself to smile and pay attention to what her friend had to say.

"It's okay. Hey, come back into the kitchen for a minute, will ya?" Sookie asked in an undertone.

Lorelai cringed and turned bright red ; luckily Sookie's back was already turned. _Oh no. Busted._ Of course she would have talked to Babbette and Miss Patty already. Stars Hollow gossip was always hard to avoid, especially when you didn't know you were supposed to be avoiding it.

"Sookie, listen, I can explain-," she began as soon as they entered the Dragonfly kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell me that Mike Armstrong was coming today?"

The relief that maybe she didn't know, or if she did, knew enough not to pry, caused Lorelai to breathe a sigh of relief. Until, of course, she realized what Sookie's actual question was.

"I, uh…what?" She stuttered. All thoughts of Luke, the town, Rory, and her parents flew from her mind. Mike Armstrong, here? _Today_? The inn was a disaster. They had never totally gotten the sweat smell out of the guest rooms from the bike race. Besides, Lorelai's hair desperately needed to be cut, and she never would have worn _this_ if she had known she had a meeting with Mike Armstrong. She really should have found the time to do her laundry sometime in the last two weeks.

Sookie stared at her for a few seconds, then screeched "_Michel!_ ", pretty much at the top of her lungs. Miraculously, he came within a few minutes.

"Honestly," he whined as he leisurely poured himself a cup of coffee, ignoring the two women glaring at him. "I have a million things to do; I can't come in here every five minutes and answer to your every beck and call!"

"Michel!" Sookie almost yelled. "Why didn't you tell Lorelai about the meeting Mike Armstrong scheduled for today?"

He just smiled, blowing on his coffee. "I thought I had."

"Well, I just reminded her about it and she looked like a deer caught in headlights!" Sookie was really upset now. Lorelai could tell because she was waving her ladle around like she was a fencer.

"Really, Sookie. I can't be expected to deliver absolutely every phone message I receive. If you're so worried about getting your messages on time, why don't you answer the phone yourself?"

"I- uh, hello!" Sookie screeched, gesturing to her surroundings. "I have a kitchen full of people here! I can't just run out every time the phone rings! _No one_ in here can be trusted with the stove on! Don't you understand that, Michel? Don't you?"

"Woah woah woah. Guys. Take a deep breath." Lorelai intervened, always the mediator. "Michel, next time, please please _tell me_ when I have a meeting with Mr. Armstrong."

Huffy, he replied, "O-kayy."

"And Sookie, we totally understand about the stove. It's a work of art, no one else _should_ be allowed to use it. Michel didn't mean you should abandon your cooking every time the phone rings, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, arms crossed, refusing to look at Michel.

"Now, come on," Lorelai forced a smile. "We've got bigger fish to fry. Michel, what time is Mr. Armstrong coming?"

"One-thirty," he replied. 

_Less than three hours away._ "Okay. Great." she rubbed her hands together, wondering where to start. Which needed more work, the inn or herself?

Sookie looked puzzled. "Wait, you're still taking the meeting?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Of course. Why not?"

"Well, you _just_ learned about it. It's not like you to just dive in, without having any time to prepare."

Lorelai was thinking of the night before as she replied, "Well, things change. People change."

Michel was confused now as well. "I thought you weren't taking the offer. You said you were going to stay here, at the Dragonfly."

_To take care of us_, Lorelai silently added, knowing exactly what, or whom really, Michel was referring to. She was so sick of taking care of other people, always having to depend on them and worrying about them needing to depend on her. She could take the job in Paris if she wanted to. Nothing was stopping her. Why not? There wasn't Rory to think of anymore, she thought bitterly. Yes, why shouldn't she take the job? They could work out a three month trial period, or something. She could have the option of coming back then, at least.**  
**

Lorelai shivered as the weight of possibly taking this offer fell on her. "Honestly, Michel? I don't know what's going to happen." She closed her eyes for a moment and smiled, reflecting. "But right now, I know Mr. Armstrong is coming in less than three hours and we really need to clean this place up."

Both Sookie and Michel stared after her as she walked out of the kitchen, a new woman, in a way. She hummed to herself, a tune she had heard on the radio just a few days before:

_…The whole world could change in a minute…_

…_we could think it through, but I don't want to, if you don't want to…_

**Reviews are always appreciated! Lyrics belong to Sugarland. Thanks for reading! **


	3. A Promise Broken

** A/N: I tried to write this chapter around the scenes that took place in the episode, rather than using those exact same scenes. Also, I am not much of a Rory/Logan fan. But for this story, sacrifices had to be made! Hopefully it still is readable and makes sense! Thanks for reading. **

** Chapter Two: A Promise Broken **

Rory left her last final feeling slightly unsteady, like maybe she had been asleep for the past three hours (they had felt more like six) instead of taking a test. Rory could remember the essay questions on the test, and which ones she had chosen, but she honestly could not remember her responses. Had she used the correct literary theories? What about her thesis statement? Did she choose three of the essays, as was required to pass the class, or only two? She racked her brain as to what she did over the past three hours, and all she can remember was thinking: …_I don't have what it takes…I, Rory Gilmore, do not have what it takes_... It was like one of those annoying pop songs that gets stuck in your head, and, despite how many times you sing "It's a Small World" to try to get it out, becomes permanently embedded in your brain.

She does remember one thing that had run through her mind, other than the mantra that had unfortunately succeeded in rapidly deteriorating what was left of her self esteem. While sitting in the classroom, as other students were racing to finish their final exams, Rory had come to some sort of twisted realization: that she no longer wanted to be here. Here, meaning Yale. She would say, to anyone that asked, that she didn't want her grandparents to continue to pay while she didn't know what she was doing with her life, but really, she hated the idea of coming back here next year.

Because, around every corner she was reminded of herself coming to Yale at the beginning of last year. She was faced with all her hopes and dreams and how hard she had worked. And for what? She could go back to school, any school but Yale, where the Rorys of last year and the summer and even a month ago were lurking in the shadows, ready to jump out at her at any moment.

She knew, before taking the internship, that Mitchum Huntzberger was a jerk. Logan had told her enough times how they had never understood each other, and how his father always expected more out of him than Logan could offer. Rory also knew that Logan's father had been one of the key players in the dinner confrontation, absent though he was. She had in fact declined his offer at first, and not just because she disliked him as a person. Every penniless college student that had been reduced to amateur jobs had learned what makes a bad boss. She would never tell this to Logan, even though she was positive he would agree with her, but Mr. Huntzberger was a bad boss. She had witnessed him more than once punishing the people who were actually working, rewarding the ones who weren't, acting extremely rude to his secretary, and, let's not forget, ignoring his one and only intern: Rory had been purposely left behind multiple times while trying to follow him and attend to his every need.

She knew most of this, and guessed the rest, when the internship was offered to her. And yet in the end, she had accepted. Now, for the first time, she began to wonder. Why had she agreed?

It wasn't Mitchum's "great opportunity" speech. Aspiring journalists could get internships pretty much anywhere, especially if they were coming from Yale. Interns didn't get paid, after all. What business in their right mind would refuse someone working hard for no pay? Though this was truthfully only the third internship that had been offered to her, Rory knew that she could do better.

Perhaps, she reflected, it was about proving herself. She wanted to show the Huntzbergers that she was a hard-working, honest, good person. She wanted to prove to them that she _was_ the person for Logan to be with. Maybe she had hoped that getting into Mitchum's good graces would help the Huntzberger family see the real Rory. Not the nervous, horrendously overdressed bimbo that had showed up at their house for dinner.

And in the end, yet another of Logan's family members had managed to humiliate her. How could she have missed that feeling in her gut that usually warns her against doing things like this?

Did she really not have what it took to be a journalist? Maybe she was being too hard on Logan's father. Maybe he was just doing a good thing, trying to help her out.

It sure didn't feel like he was just being nice. When he had very seriously told her that she would make a good secretary, it resembled the feeling of being stabbed in the back.

And then there was the whole yacht business. What had gotten into her? There were many things that Rory was unsure about at the moment, but she _knew_ that she had seriously lost it when she had suggested stealing the yacht to Logan. But, then again, how could he agree to a suggestion like that? Now that Rory thought about it, he hadn't actually disagreed with his father's opinion of her work the past few months.

Oh, god. What if Logan was just egging her along, too? What if the entire world was playing a very mean joke on her? Rory wasn't sure if she could stand finding out that Logan had been lying to her all this time. His big-shot father, who was a known asshole, yes. But Logan?

As Rory rounded the corner and made her way back to her room, she saw Logan leaning against the tree near the entrance to her building, holding two enormous cups of coffee. She smiled in relief. If Logan _had_ been two-timing her, he would have abandoned her by now and moved on to the next girl he had waiting in line. But the fact that he was still here must mean that he still cared about her.

"Hey," she said when he was within earshot. "I thought you'd left already."

"Ahh, yes…back to the good ol' Huntzberger mansion? When I could be spending time with you, Ace? I think not."

"Oh," Rory said, unable to suppress a grin. He handed her a coffee and she sipped it gratefully.

"How did your last final go?"

"Um…fine. Yeah, it went great." Why did she find it so hard to admit to Logan that she had no idea if she had even finished the exam, much less passed it?

"Knew it would be. You're gonna knock their socks off, Ace. Just wait and see." He smiled knowingly.

For some reason, Logan's confidence in Rory only made her less sure of herself. "Yeah…," she mumbled awkwardly, glad that she was unlocking her door at the moment and could focus on that. Logan followed her into her room and helped to carry her remaining boxes out to her car. Rory half-listened to how Logan had once again managed to just pass his classes, but she couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last time she would be here, seeing the campus. It scared her a little. This had been her home for the past two years, after all.

Logan's next words hit her like a glass of ice water. "You're actually gonna miss it, aren't you?"

Rory stopped short. Was it possible that he knew what she had been thinking? But before she could try and explain herself, he continued.

"Don't worry, Ace. Yale will still be here next year. And for many many years after that."

_I know_, Rory thought. _That's just the problem._**  
**

One thing was for sure. She needed some perspective. And there was only one place she could think of to go get it.

------

Forty minutes later, she was sitting on Lane's bed, watching her best friend hurriedly throwing things in a suitcase. Lane was leaving later that night, embarking on the band's first tour. Rory tried to be excited for her, but she looked at Lane and just saw another example that her life was going down the wrong path. As much as she hated to admit it, Rory envied Lane, who finally had gotten it together. She had chased her dream and seen it through and had ended up on top. Lane had what it took, that was for sure.

"So let me get this straight," Lane said while simultaneously folding a skirt and searching for her cell phone. "You, Rory Gilmore, 4.2 GPA, are seriously considering not going back to Yale next year?"

"Well…," Rory shrugged helplessly. It did sound a little crazy, when Lane put it like that. She told herself that this was just because Lane didn't know that whole story yet.

"Because one man told you that you didn't," Lane put down the sweater she was now folding and held her hands up to form air quotes, "'have it'?"

"Lane, you don't understand. Mitchum Huntzberger is _the __opinion_to get!" Rory exclaimed, slightly frustrated.

"And have you ever considered the thought that maybe _Mitchum Huntzberger_ is just being a jerk? That maybe he's just trying to get you to break up with Logan?"

"That's insane," Rory said nervously. "He likes me! He said I was a great intern!" Out loud, she realized how pathetic that sounded.

"Okay, you know that I think you can do absolutely anything, but maybe…I mean, just try to look at this from his point of view."

"I don't want to look at it from his point of view!" Rory exclaimed indignantly. She didn't care _why_Mitchum had done what he did. All that mattered was that he had done it and now she was hurting and she needed to _do_ something about it.

"Rory, Logan is finally getting serious about his relationship with you. If, hypothetically of course, you were his father, wouldn't you be a little picky about who he was dating, and try to, you know, find something wrong with her? Scare her off?"

"Logan and I are _not_ breaking up." Rory said determinedly, thinking that maybe if she said it enough times, it would be true.

"Glad to hear it." Lane went back to her packing and the room became silent for a few moments, with the exception of Lane humming along to the stereo.

There was one more thing that Rory wanted Lane's opinion on, but she was unsure of where to begin. Finally, she said, "Lane, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Lane somehow sensed that this was serious and gave Rory her full attention.

"Why do you think I stole the yacht?"

Lane, of course, was able to read her like an open book. She took a few seconds to think, and then replied without hesitation. "I think you wanted to make sure that Logan still wanted to be with you. You wanted to know that no matter what you did, be it pursuing your dream as a journalist, running for president, or committing a felony, that he would still be right behind you, one hundred percent."

"Wow," Rory said, amazed that Lane could decipher all this after only listening to Rory for twenty minutes. Then again, their seventeen years of friendship was probably also a big contributing factor.

"I also think that you were extremely upset and didn't know how to tell him. Especially because you weren't sure of the role that he had in the whole thing. And you wanted to do something big, to really get his attention, and, by extension, his father's too."

Both girls were silent for a few minutes, before Lane spoke up again. "Okay, I just have to ask. What did Logan say when you told him you weren't going back to Yale?"

Oops. Rory really should've seen that one coming ahead of time and formulated some kind of excuse. "I, uh…"

Lane's expression was incredulous. "You haven't told him?"

"I don't know why I can't tell him, Lane. I just don't like the idea of him and his father getting into another fight, especially over me."

"So what, you're just going awkwardly change the subject every time someone starts talking about Yale? You'll just…not show up next year?"

"I don't know, okay? I don't have all the answers right now!" Rory stood up and crossed her arms, feeling at a sort of disadvantage because Lane was standing and she wasn't.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I just…this is a _big_decision to make without telling him…or Lorelai, for that matter."

Rory really wished that Lane wouldn't have brought that up, because she really hadn't given much thought to what she would tell her mother. "Lane," Rory asked desperately for this one last thing from her best friend before she left for the summer. "How am I going to tell her?"

------

When their eyes met through the poolhouse window, Lorelai realized that life as she knew it was over. For awhile, she had been pretending that this was all a dream. Rory didn't _really_ steal a yacht. She wasn't _really_ going to quit school. Emily and Richard weren't _really_going to let her move in with them.

But all these things had happened, and here Rory was, unpacking all of her things, living proof that this was definitely not a dream.

It was a nightmare.


	4. Anxious much?

**Chapter Three: Anxious much?**

Lorelai returned home that evening to a delicious smelling dinner. She wasn't sure if Luke was trying to apologize or to comfort her, but once she saw the garlic bread, she didn't really care. Luke even came to the door to greet her, and she kissed him hello. He looked at her warily, but didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin her surprisingly good mood. Each was extremely careful around the other, as the scars from the previous night were still fresh and extremely painful.

Lorelai was halfway through her spaghetti when she couldn't hold it in anymore. "So, I had a meeting with Mike Armstrong today," she blurted out. Well, that was at least half of it.

"You…?" Luke seemed almost unable to comprehend her statement.

She nodded and took a sip of her wine, carefully avoiding his gaze."He gave me an offer, and I took it."

"Does this mean-?" Luke stammered. "There was talk about traveling, right?"

"I'm going to Paris for a trial period." Lorelai wished felt as confident as she sounded.

He was silent for a moment, then asked, "Is this about last night?"

"What are you talking about?" she stalled, twisting her pasta around her fork. She really had no desire to talk about Rory right now. Or, for that matter, the other thing.

"I know you're upset, but come on. You can't just bail, Lorelai. She needs you."

Lorelai laughed bitterly in response. "Apparently, she doesn't."

"Lorelai." He waited until she put her fork down before continuing. "I'm serious. I thought we agreed-,"

"We did," she murmured quietly.

He ducked his head, forcing her to look at him. "Why are you doing this?"

A lump formed in her throat as she responded. "I need to, I…" her voice cracked and she stood up and began to clear the table. Her back turned to him, she said, "I can't just sit here and wait for her to come back, because she might not…"

"She will." Luke got up as well, and walked up behind her, his arms wrapped around her loosely. "Lorelai, tell me what you want and I'll make it happen," he said softly. "Just think about what you're doing here."

"Luke," she whispered desperately.

"If you really want this, then I'll be behind you one hundred percent. You know that," he said, his voice surprisingly even. _I want you to be happy again_, he didn't say.

"I want this. I do." She whispered, trying hard to keep her voice steady.

"And…me?" he asked carefully.

She gave him a sad smile. "I want you too."

He gathered her to him, and she could swear she heard him sigh in relief.

--

Rory sat in the poolhouse late Monday night. She knew she should get some sleep, seeing as her court appearance was early the next morning. She simply couldn't turn her mind off. She had tried everything that had worked for her in the past: She'd attempted to read multiple books, watched some horrible infomercials, even sat through the first half an hour of two movies that had been known to put her to sleep before. Nothing was working. Of course, there was always the old standby of writing in her journal. But Rory feared she'd have nothing to say.

The real problem was that she couldn't get "For she's a jolly good felon" out of her head. Rory guessed she should have been touched that Logan had gone through all the trouble to throw her a party, and she admired him for making light of a situation that even Lorelai had had trouble joking about. Was it wrong that she didn't feel like celebrating? Rory knew deep down that she was doing the right thing, but she really did wish that being estranged from her mother didn't have to be part of the deal. But in no way was she going to back down.

For some reason, Paris' words had really hit home too. Rory couldn't forget the look on her face when Logan had walked into the poolhouse. "_You_," she had said, glaring at him. What had she meant by that? Okay, Paris had never _loved_ Logan, but then again, Paris had never loved anyone. Except maybe Asher Fleming. Why did everyone blame this whole thing on Logan? What had he done, except support Rory in every way he possibly could? What was so wrong with that?

--

Lorelai walked into the Dragonfly the next morning, and walked into the kitchen for her routine cup of coffee. She was halfway through her ever-changing and always interesting drive-into-work story when she realized that Sookie was determinedly stirring a pot of something heavenly-smelling and had not spoken to her or even acknowledged her presence since she came in at least ten minutes ago.

"Sook, something wrong?"

"Nope." She shook her head fervently. "I'm fine. Yep, that's me. Just fine."

"Okay," Lorelai said, still not quite buying it.

"They're actually thinking about writing a song about how _fine_ I am." Sookie waved her spoon around dramatically.

"All right," Lorelai put her coffee down and forcedthe spoon out of Sookie's hand. "What is it?"

"Lorelai, I told you, nothing-," her friend began. Sookie had never been a good liar.

"I mean, because it's obviously something I did. If you were pissed at Jackson or Michel, you would have complained to me about it already." Lorelai was starting to get a little frustrated now. "So come on, let's have it."

Sookie's voice shook as she said angrily, "Yes, because I tell you absolutely everything. There's nothing about me that you don't know. And I consult you on everything too. I don't make a single decision without checking with you first."

"What did I do?" Lorelai exclaimed, more than a little disturbed at Sookie's tone.

"What did you do, hmm…oh I know! Maybe it was deciding to sell _our_ inn to a couple of strangers! Maybe it was agreeing to get up and go to Paris without even so much as letting me know that now I have to run this inn all by myself. Maybe that was part of it."

Lorelai literally turned red, utterly humiliated. "Oh, Sookie…"

"No it's fine. You want out, great. Just maybe drop me a note next time so I don't have to hear about it from Michel, okay? Or one of the maids!"

Lorelai winced and said sincerely, "I'm sorry. Really, honey, just let me-,"

"I said I don't care." Sookie said shortly before turning back to her pot.

Lorelai was silent for a moment, lost in thought. Finally she shook her head, knowing that it would take more than an apology to get her friend's trust back. She quietly left the kitchen and went straight to her office, where she stayed most of the day.

--

"So now, on top of everything else, Sookie hates me," Lorelai whined in between bites of her hamburger.

"She doesn't hate you," Luke reasoned. "Just give her time to cool off."

"Ugh," Lorelai groaned. "I'm so stressed."

"I noticed," Luke said while ringing up a takeout purchase.

"Seriously. I haven't been this stressed since the inn opened. What with Rory and my parents, and Mike Armstrong, and now Sookie…"

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Luke's response was a little more terse than he intended. Really, though. Was he as the boyfriend supposed to be ecstatic about her leaving for three months? Was he supposed to encourage her running away just because she didn't like the way things were turning out? Did she even know what she was doing to him?

Lorelai eyed him suspiciously. "I didn't say you had to do anything about it." A look passed between them. When Luke didn't respond, she asked tentatively, "Luke?"

"Cherry pie okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lorelai replied, more than a little befuddled. "Thanks."

--

Later that night, Luke had almost successfully drifted off to sleep when Lorelai whispered, "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"The other day, when you asked about the kids, what did that mean?" She didn't know why, but that scene had just randomly popped into her head.

"What?" Luke pretended not to know what she was talking about.

"You know…you were fixing the banister at the inn, we were arguing about Mike Armstrong, and you said what about the kids."

"Never mind." Luke shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Lorelai felt disappointed, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why.

"Yeah," he said, turning his back to her and firmly closing his eyes. "It doesn't matter anymore."

** A/N: Ooh, tension! :) Thanks for reading, I'd love to know what you think! **


	5. Perfectly Miserable

**Chapter 4: Perfectly Miserable**

Paris was beautiful, and Lorelai hated it. She hated her expensive hotel room, with her very own French maid, right out of the movies: it was so pathetically mockable, and yet there was no one for her to mock it with. She hated sitting in meetings all day, discussing "business", while right out the window were thousands of people enjoying a beautiful summer day in Paris. She hated the guilty feeling she got when she called Luke, when she pretended she was having a good time.

But mostly, she hated that Rory wasn't there to share Paris with her, like last time. She hated being reminded of who her daughter was two summers ago, so naïve and innocent, everywhere she went. Lorelai was blown away with how much had changed. Two years ago, she and Sookie were just starting on the inn. Lorelai and Luke weren't together yet, and she and Rory had never been apart for more than 48 hours. Now, she and Sookie had accomplished their dream, she and Luke were only a few steps away from getting engaged (at least Lorelai hoped so), and Rory was out on her own.

Despite all this, Paris was somehow almost exactly the same as she remembered it.

Nothing changes, and yet everything does, Lorelai reflected. Advance notice next time would be nice, that was all.

--

The night after Lorelai left, Luke sat on the couch in her house (she had stubbornly refused to let him stay at his apartment when all of his stuff was already at her house), and tried to watch TV. He couldn't remember the last time he had watched anything without Lorelai. It definitely was less interesting without her commentary.

Luke had returned from the airport earlier that afternoon and had gone straight to the diner, purposefully putting all thoughts of Lorelai out of his head. His body ached now from the work he had done, but he had not been successful in keeping thoughts of her at bay.

The last 24 hours had been hectic. Mike Armstrong had called yesterday morning and had said there was a plane leaving this afternoon. He'd _love_ it if Lorelai could make it, but he understood that it was short notice and there was another plane the following week. Lorelai, of course, could only think about getting out of Stars Hollow as 

quickly as possible and had jumped on his offer. She had dragged Luke to the mall for the next three or four hours and had bought a bunch of things she would have no use for, such as a huge expensive suitcase even though she had a perfectly good one at home, and a mini coffee maker. ("Because they don't have coffee in France," had been Luke's sarcastic response. "Don't joke!" Lorelai had assured him, wide-eyed. "When Rory and I were in Spain, we couldn't find a decent cup of coffee for three days!") Eventually Luke had broken down and agreed. There really was no way he could intentionally disappoint her. She had also bought some things she actually would need, like an international phone. For the sake of her pride, Luke had not insisted that she call him every night, but he told her to call a lot and she had completely agreed.

Lorelai didn't call him that first night. He tried not to read too much into it, knowing that she was adjusting to a new time zone and routine. He tried not to be frustrated with her being so anxious to leave so soon and abruptly. He knew it was mostly because of Rory. But he was pretty sure that he shared some of the blame too.

--

Lorelai sat on the bed in her hotel room, staring at the phone. She knew that she should call Luke and tell him she got here okay so that he wouldn't worry. However, if she did, he would be able to tell that she was sad and missing him. How had things gotten so screwed up? She had been so happy not even two days ago, and now here she was, all alone in a foreign country, doing a job she hadn't even wanted. Lorelai was happy at the Dragonfly. She had her rhythm down and everything was going fine. What was she doing here? How had this happened?

_Rory._ She reminded herself, and rubbed her eyes frantically to stop herself from crying. Rory had dropped out of Yale and moved in with her parents. _Rory_ had _moved in_ with her _parents._ _Her_ parents. How could she let this happen? What kind of mother was she?

No, she was definitely not going to be able to put on a happy face for Luke tonight.

Tomorrow would be better.

--



Rory had never speeded, had never gotten a ticket, but on Tuesday evening, she came pretty close. She had never been this angry before, not after Mitchum Huntzberger had spoken to her, not when she saw Logan with another girl when they were still just "casually dating", not when she heard Luke had broken up with her mother after that horrendous vow renewal. No, this was even one step above all of that.

Her mother had known that her court date was today. It was just childish of her not to have shown up. Rory admitted to herself that she had wanted Lorelai there, if even just to distract her from being nervous. And now, not only had her mother not shown up, but she hadn't even left a message to say she wasn't coming. She hadn't even bothered with an excuse.

Rory saw the diner first and skidded to a stop. (She was pretty sure that she had never skidded before either. Oh well.) She stormed in the diner, practically slamming the door open. Luke, of course, was standing behind the counter, staring at her as if he had seen a ghost.

"Rory," he stated bluntly. Well, duh.

"Where's Mom?" she asked almost accusingly.

Luke visibly flinched. "Oh. Well…"

"What's she doing? It's obviously something _very_ important that she completely blew off my court appearance." Okay. That was probably a little snotty. But Rory was so upset that she didn't really care.

"She didn't tell you," Luke said, astonished.

"Didn't tell me what?" Rory asked warily.

"Rory, your mom is in Paris. She left yesterday morning." Behind the gruffness of Luke's tone was a sense of sadness that made Rory's heart ache.

Rory sat down on a stool, stunned. "What?"

"Yeah… she took Mike Armstrong's offer."

Rory asked nervously, "Because of me?"

Luke looked at her and said, honestly, "I'm not entirely sure."

"I- I can't believe she didn't tell me." Luke didn't respond. "What?" Rory demanded. "You're thinking, I deserve it, I broke my mother's heart, yada yada yada…I'm evil now just because I'm not doing exactly what she wants me to. Well, you know what? We may share the same name, but I am _not_ my mother." Okay, maybe this was taking it a little too far. But she was so worked up at this point that it was hard to stop herself. "I thought you would be different…I don't know why…," Rory muttered to herself as she pushed herself up from the stool she had been seated on and strode out of the diner angrily.

Luke stared after her for a few moments, stunned. It was only when Caesar bumped him with a hot plate that burned his forearm that he came back down to Earth.

--

"Yeah, I love it already," Lorelai exclaimed into her cell phone, hoping that Luke couldn't tell that she was lying. They weren't face to face, so there was better chance of him believing her.

"Yeah?" Luke asked, trying his best to sound happy for her. "What have you done so far?"

"Well, after I got out of the airport, I checked into my hotel, then just wandered around a little- they didn't need me until today, you know, and-,"

"You wandered around a foreign country by yourself?" Luke interjected.

"Luke, come on. You know I'm careful." Lorelai said, smiling in spite of herself at his concern.

"It's not you I'm worried about," Luke muttered.

"Anyway," Lorelai continued, not letting Luke rain on her parade. "I saw the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame- they're really beautiful this time of year, by the way. Then I got myself some dinner, went back to my hotel room, slept _wonderfully_," She was really lying through her teeth here. "…Got up this morning, had a _delicious_ breakfast, went to work, and here we are."

"Here we are," Luke agreed.

"What about you? How was your day?" Lorelai asked as if she were sitting right next to him at the dinner table and there weren't thousands of miles between them.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Luke said quickly, not about to let on that Rory had paid an impromptu visit.

"Nothing exciting happened?" Lorelai cajoled. "Come on, Luke. I'm dying for news!"

"You've only been gone a day," he reminded her, only then realizing it himself too. It already felt like months to him since he had seen her.

"Well I feel like I'm already missing everything! Please, Luke," she begged, knowing that he couldn't say no to her.

"Well, Taylor's driving me crazy, but other than that-," Luke began, and the conversation continued from there.

--

"…so she just goes off and leaves, without letting me apologize, and she's still mad, all those miles away, and I just don't know what to do!" Sookie ranted for a full three minutes before stopping for a breath.



"So was that a yes on the coffee?" Luke interjected, overwhelmed.

"Uggh, Luke come on, I need you to be serious with me here. Why would she do this? Why now, when things were going so well? What happened?"

Luke gulped. Was he supposed to keep the Rory situation a secret? He wasn't sure yet. Would Lorelai want people to know? _Well, Sookie's her best friend__,_ he reasoned. Surely if Lorelai hadn't gone to Paris she would have told Sookie about it. But then again, he should really check with Lorelai first, right? Sookie was still looking at him expectantly.

"I, uh…," he stammered. He looked around at the nearly empty diner. It was 10:00 on a Wednesday morning, and the only people in the diner (besides himself and Sookie) were tourists.

Sookie gasped. "You broke up, didn't you? Damn it Luke, what the hell is wrong with you? You two are perfect for each other, why am I the only one who sees it?"

"It's not just you, sugah," Babbette squealed, standing up from where she was sitting at a small table in the corner. Luke ran his hand over his face. This was really getting out of hand. In hindsight, he should really have had his tables arranged so that he can see all of them from the counter. "The whole town has known for years that those two were meant to be together. You two broke up, huh? Well, c'mon, let's hear about it. Lorelai's certainly not here to tell us."

"Aw, geez, come on now. We did _not_ break up!" Luke said angrily. What was it with this town that they needed to know everything about your life? And damn Lorelai for leaving him to deal with all of this. She must have known what she was doing.

"Well, what happened, then?" Sookie asked, genuinely concerned for her friend. In fact, they were all genuinely concerned. They just had a funny way of showing it, that was all.

"Uh…," Luke tried to come up with a good cover story that did not include Rory, but he had never been good at that sort of thing. Yet another reason why he needed Lorelai in his life.

"Come on, Luke," Babbette pleaded. "Is it Rory?"

"Ohhhh it is! It is!" Sookie squealed. Luke swore under his breath. His face had given him away. Lorelai had always been there to warn him about things like that. "Well, all right, spill!"

Luke hesitated briefly before telling the story. Lorelai would have told them anyway if she was here, he kept telling himself, hoping that he was right.


End file.
